I'm beginning to feel the change on the horizon. I know that we are all unique and created for a purpose, but my pride likes to take it one step further to make me believe that without me someone's world will fall apart. As I prepare to leave the country for 2 years, I have found that my biggest struggle is that the world here will go on without me. Someone will be hired to replace me at GCHS. Down deep I want them to do a better job than I did, to succeed where I hit the wall, but deeper still I hate realizing that I'm replaceable, especially by someone "better." The world will go on. My students will go off to college; my friends will make new friends; my roles at church will be taken by someone else. Maybe I'm just sad about missing out. But if I'm really honest with myself, I have to admit that I can't stand not to be in control of the entire world. I hate that!
I know no one can replace ME, but my jobs, duties, and roles are replaceable. So how much of my identity do I place on these temporal things?
Hmmm . . .
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2 comments:
Dear KT,
i felt like i was reading something that i had written! i've struggled with this very thing a few times.
but you are definitely right--no one can ever replace you. :)
... you are definitely the one friend in my life that I can't use my typical (and very operationally efficient) 'replacement theory' on... Love ya! J
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