Behold the Power of Keys

(Yes, another cheesy title, but they are part of the fun to coming to you with a new post!)

People have been asking me recently if my move has really "hit me" yet. Honestly, I must admit that when it comes to the whole emotional goodbye thing, I totally suck! As a result my mind has taken over and tends to put off any feelings of sadness until I've been away for a couple of months and find myself suddenly homesick for friends and the good ol' days. Through many years of therapy, I've realized that my emotion avoidence is not really the most healthy of habits, so I tend to think carefully even about the 5 second flash of sadness when I think of not being able to run over to Jenny's house and sing or the 10 second flash of "Oh my gosh! What am I doing?" when I turn in keys.

Keys are funny things. They are so small, but the hold so much power. I once had a friend with whom I'd play word association games. I specifically remember one where the banter went something like this.

Friend: What's the first word that comes to mind when I say . . . Lock?
Me: Key
Friend: Lock?
Me: Key
Friend: Key?
Me: Lock

Today my response to the final question would be different. What's the first word that comes to mind when I think of key? Power. This isn't the "I'm going to control the world" power. It's the power that comes from knowing someone trusts you enough to give you a key to the church so you can build sets late into the night. It's the power of realizing that you are grown-up enough (even though you thought you'd never see the day) to have a key to your own classroom. It's a power that brings freedom when you can start a car and go wherever you decide to go, when you want to go there. It's a power that gives peace as you can open the door to your house and go inside after a crazy day of work to just relax.

Well, to tie this all up in a pretty package, my 5 and 10 second flashes of emotion tend to be coming on the heals of giving away keys. When I turned in my keys at school, there was a certain finality to the situation. Then today I turned in my keys to my apartment. Again, the same thoughts. "Yes, you've done this. Now it's for real. You are leaving this chapter of life. New job. New role. New home. "

So has it really "hit me"? Honestly, no it hasn't, but it's tapped me on the shoulder a few times in the form of your everyday key.